You Can Change #35 (Chapter 4)

We're continuing in chapter 4 of You Can Change, called "When Do You Struggle?" The point is to consider how our circumstances affect us in as we try to live like Christ.

Before we go any further, Tim Chester wants to make sure that we understand that the root of all our actions is our own hearts, not outside circumstances. Thus, the next two sections (pp. 65-66) are "Our Struggles Reveal Our Hearts" and "My Behavior Comes from My Heart."

Chester:

Heart is shorthand for our thinking and desires. The root cause of my behavior is always my heart. What we see is behavior and emotions, and it's easy to focus on changing behavior and emotions. But lasting change is achieved only by tackling their source-- the heart. (66)

Now, if I had a problem yelling at my wife, it might do some good to work on my volume. I could come up with some techniques for moderating my response (count to 10, take a deep breath, etc.), but the noise level is only a symptom of the sickness in my heart.

In fact, if I were to figure out how to sweeten my tone of voice while remaining argumentative and/or manipulative, I'm not sure that I haven't taken a step backward.

I need to recognize what my thoughts and desires are that make me respond so violently. I need to own up to my selfishness and stubbornness. Later on, we'll talk about redirecting those desires.

How are you tempted to focus on behavior and emotions rather than thoughts and desires?

Can you give an example of trying to change the outward instead of the inward?