We can’t feel good about ourselves until we’ve put some distance between ourselves and our last “big sin.” For us, sin has become first and foremost sin against ourselves. If I sin, then I’ve let myself down. What I feel when I sin is the offense against me and my self-esteem, not the offense against God. (25)
Our culture is filled with this often pathetic self-referential kind of talk. For example:
"I need to give myself permission to relax.""I guess I just can't forgive myself.""I know I disappointed you, but I really disappointed myself."
Let me play with that last one for a bit. When some politician gets caught in a lie, then holds a press conference where he says, "I am sorry. I know I hurt my family deeply and I did not uphold the honor of this office. I have disappointed you, but most of all, I disappointed myself."
Now, if they are at all genuine (or genuinely trying to sound genuine), then they must think this kind of talk sounds really serious and very deep, from the heart. But it is so wrong. The greatest offense was not to himself, but to others.
The same holds true with our sin. When we do wrong, the greatest violence we have done is not against ourselves, but against God. All this talk about "I give myself permission" and "I forgive myself" and "I'm disappointed" stems largely from the fact that we see ourselves as the highest authority with the greatest honor at stake.
It is God who gives or withholds permission. It is God who forgives in the only way that finally matters. It is God whose estimation of us has any bearing on ultimate reality and for eternity. It is the holiness of God and his honor that is at stake.
It is time to get over ourselves and pursue change-- for God's sake.
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